Concocting Confidence…


There’s an old Journo saying, one that rings true for perhaps many endeavours in life – fake it till you make it.   Now you can take that and run with it many ways, but when we’re talking self-improvement and taking life by the balls- I really believe there really is no other way. Let me take a step back for a hot second.

I’ve become pretty pumped on podcasts these days.  ( I remember about 8 years ago when I first discovered podcasts and would pop my earbuds in on the London tube and listen to the Slate magazine podcast in between classes while I partied studied abroad. I need to listen to Slate again ! But I digress…) Lately Barbell Shrugged and Brute Strength podcasts have me pretty hooked.  The latest episode  I listened to struck a chord. Host and Brute Strength CEO Mike Cazayoux interviewed a man by the name of Justin S’ua.   S’ua is the Mental Skills Coordinator for the Boston Red Sox ( How effin COOL does that job sound?! ) S’ua talks about mental adversity and getting past failure in this episode “The Body Achieves what the mind believes”. ( His anecdotes on Growth mindset vs. Fixed mindset were particularly poignant…but I’ll save that for another post. )


Justin S’ua — I gotta see him deliver a Ted Talk one day!

But when I came to the part in the episode regarding confidence…. I sort of froze. In athletics, in our jobs, in life ….. we need confidence to push forward.   But what about when you don’t FEEL confident.   Throw in the towel. Quit. Give up….WHY BOTHER…In Crossfit… I have faced this hundreds of times…A heavy clean and jerk…I’m TERRIFIED, confidence is out the door and I want to run from the barbell.

But in performance your feelings DON’T MATTER… 

Nope.  What does matter? Your actions.  This is where FAKE it till you make it comes in.


When it comes to confidence — I’m talking about FAKING that confidence….essentially building UP that voice in your head that says  YOU GOT this… and smothering that annoying buzzing in your ear chirping   You’ll just be second best againYou’re a failure….It’s pointless… You’re useless.

I struggle with this, and believe I always have.  In my professional life it’s been a constant hurdle and area of attempted self-improvement  But it’s getting better.  In recent weeks I’ve stopped giving myself license to make excuses and I’ve stopped pointing fingers at the 3000 people who could do the job better than I can.  I can do the job better than they can.  I can make it to the top. That’s not going to say I will never have negative thoughts..because I WILL. They’ll never go away. But I don’t have to believe them,  and they’ll float away like cotton candy clouds in the sky. So for now, I’m faking it… and that confidence will manifest from fraudulence to actualization, I promise.





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